The latest blog posts

There was a dark time when all our flags were so grand and old (or in some cases stolen) that soon no living person would remember them happening. Then the 2020s came along, the greatest global health crisis in a century somehow worked in our favour, and the Melbourne Football Club… Read more
Published: 4 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In the grand scheme of Australian sporting schedule cockups, you don't have to wait for all the good grounds in Queensland to be booked on Grand Final Day, just come to my place when the joyous occasion of a Prelim intersects with an equally important toddler related event, leaving my… Read more
Published: 15 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
One way or the other we've seen off every decent in the competition since 2017, except Adelaide. Even Brisbane, who could easily beat us to a flag in three weeks, were toppled in a final last year. But, until Friday night we'd never beaten the Crows in a seriously important… Read more
Published: 29 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you follow Melbourne long enough you'll keep finding things to surprise you. When I took this lifestyle on in 1989, I'd have scoffed at the idea of a women's team, with games broadcast live on an interconnected network of worldwide computers that also delivers on-demand viewing, gaming, and -… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If there's any reason to feel slighted while following a team neck deep in premiership contention, it's been watching every other established side in the competition rip an arm, leg, or both, off one of the expansion clubs while we missed out. Sure, there was the consolation of unleashing a… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Fans of Melbourne 1954-1964, Adelaide 1991-2019, and Geelong in general already know it, but following a side that wins almost every week is tremendously satisfying. It might not end in a flag (and for several years didn't even guarantee making the finals), but there's something calming about knowing you're objectively… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you're going to play in a competition with only three good teams, best to be inside the tent looking out. A lot has been said, not much of it complimentary, about how bad the expansion teams are but it must be hard for fans of foundation clubs like Carlton… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Say what you like about AFLW, but where else are you going to play a nautically themed team on a ground with a surplus Iraqi air raid siren? Well, to be fair, the 2015 men's pre-season – but when will you do it while watching a Melbourne side that wins… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
For all my whinging about starting AFLW season in September, it's nice to extend our Grand Final weekend winning streak be another year. Round 5 in a rushed season that's playing second fiddle to the men's finals and race hate scandals isn't nearly the same as kicking 100 of the… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Hello, I'm back again, crawling out from under the digital rock to get on with my footballing life post-straight sets. At least the men are still defending premier, at the time of writing, for another five days. Thanks again to guest reporter Olivia for stepping in last week while I… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
(Editor's note – I was already burnt out to a crisp, then the men being eliminated in farcical fashion sent me completely off the deep end. I look forward to crawling out from under the digital rock eventually, but in the meantime thanks to Olivia for taking the guest reporter… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
And so, after eight months of holding my breath waiting for everything to go wrong, it did. Our year in paradise is over, and given that the AFL can't even have silence for the Queen without getting in trouble we can't even lobby for the season to be cancelled and… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you're looking for coverage of the Friday men's game, go here. I wouldn't bother.Refer to last week's post for in-depth whinging about starting the AFLW season at the same time as the men's finals, but there's something extra suspect about playing a home and away game in the sport's… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In 1990, John Longmire ruined my first visit to the MCG by kicking 14 goals. All these years later 'Horse' has delivered the Kenneth Pinyan treatment again, taking his side to a home Preliminary Final via the express route, while our premiership defence is left under intensive care with the… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Whoever the move to mid-year AFLW is meant to benefit, it didn't take into account the emotional conflict for those of us who have still got neck-deep interest in the men's game too. Sad, middle-aged types like me probably aren't their focus market, but there must be a lot of… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Last week I threatened to go hee and stay there if we were a premiership team. I'm not entirely convinced yet, but might spend the week doing research on realestate.com.au just in case. For the conquering heroes went to a sold-out Gabba and returned having royally stuffed the locals, offering… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
It's times like this where I'm tempted to go back and rearrange old headlines so they can be used for games that suit them better. For instance, using 'Blue ROFL' on them nearly blowing a huge lead against us in a meaningless practice match now seems like a colossal waste…. Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When you think of great moments in psychological warfare thoughts usually turn to Genghis Khan catapulting human heads over city walls, Britain floating a body with fake invasion plans towards the Jerries, or Americans flushing out General Noriega via maximum volume Van Halen. Nobody expected that the next evolution in… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
There's plenty to be said for flying to the other side of the country and rebooting your premiership defence by holding the locals to a pitiful score. But after 33 years of watching footy, I've discovered that some of the most satisfying wins are when umpiring causes an interstate crowd… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In the increasingly unlikely event that Saturday 24 September ends in back-to-back flag glory I will absolutely piss myself thinking back to this game. There's losing, there's losing a thriller, there's losing a thriller with excuses, then there's losing a thriller in farcical fashion where the only reason you can't… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
During the week the club asked for your favourite moment from the Alice Springs games. The attached highlights package included eclectic moments from Jeremy Howe taking a screamer (obviously in a loss) to Heritier Lumumba doing the Adam Goodes dance after a goal. Sadly no sign of my selections, sending… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
The staff and management of Demonblog.com apologise in advance for the least complete review of a home and away match for about 15 years. This is due to a) the lead-up to a hated Thursday night match giving me the shits to the point where I didn't even want to… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
We'll get to the obligatory mention of the 2021 premiership season shortly, but do you ever stop at random during your day and marvel about how we've ended up with so many great players at the same time? It's still not clear if there's a second flag on the horizon,… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Back in my day things were easy. You'd show up expecting a loss, get one, and go home to moan about it on the internet while listening to Finey's Final Siren callers melting down (and drink a cup of sulphuric acid). Winning 17 straight games and a flag raised expectations… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you thought losing two in a row represented a return to traditional values a throwback to the days when we attracted scandal like a magnet much have been comforting. First there were desperate attempts to pin plummeting crowd numbers on us for not suddenly finding 15,000 match-going fans under… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Ever since Ben and Mitch Brown ended up on our list together, top men at Demonblog Towers have been working on novelty headlines for the unlikely event of them playing together. On Saturday night Brown O'Clock finally struck, was not Golden Brown, and all leftover gags about their surname have… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
You won't be surprised to hear that most of my time is spent thinking about the post-1996 history of the Melbourne Football Club. The black and white stuff is interesting (plug), and one day we'll take an in-depth look at the 1970s and 1980s, but it's what I saw/suffered through/finally relished… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Cast your mind back to when things started to go tremendously wrong in early 2019 and the simple act of putting mean tweets on the banner was held up as an example of a footy club stepping out of its lane. "Why don't they practice how to get a kick… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When you literally win every week they're not all going to feature swashbuckling end-to-end football that strikes terror into hearts around the nation. This certainly did not, finally answering the key life question of "what's the least exciting thrashing you've ever seen?" Which is just the sort of Alan Partridge-esque… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When you're a middle class suburban dickhead it's hard to understand why rich, talented and successful people fall off the rails. How, you wonder, can anyone go to pieces when they've got all the riches in the world at their disposal? Halfway through the third quarter here I discovered the… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Now, let's cross to the Melbourne Football Club COVID ward: Yes, it's the week when the pandemic finally got to us. Until now Pfizer has been the only organisation to have done better from it, but our luck finally ran out when AAMI Park was (not for the first time)… Read more
Published: 7 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Every great empire goes tits up eventually. The Romans met the Visigoths, the French dropped successive games in Vietnam and Algeria, Britain threw it all away over the Suez Canal, and Melbourne sacked Norm Smith. With an appropriate level of respect to the original best team of the last decade,… Read more
Published: 7 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
There was a lot to be annoyed about between 2012 and 2021, but it always shit me that we'd never properly thrashed the Giants since our first meeting. There have been limited highlights at the 'G, like the 12 goal miracle quarter against a side that went on to win one game for… Read more
Published: 7 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
So, this is what it feels like to lose a Grand Final? Probably better here than 25/09/2021 or I'd have been carted out in a pine box. This is not intended to play down the respect I've got for our women's team, it's just that we're about 25 years of… Read more
Published: 7 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
This season is giving me the same sort of stress as if I'd won the lottery. Sure, I'd enjoy having $52 million in the bank but I'd also be too terrified to cross the street in case I was run over by some pisshead driving the wrong way. Now I'm… Read more
Published: 7 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
It's official, as if you didn't already know, there has never been a better time to follow Melbourne in 60 years. The men are the best team in the country, and after six years of battling away at the top of the ladder, the women finally get their chance at… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
I had one perfectly good reason for not going on Friday night, but didn't expect it to be superseded by the Wide World of Illness. All available testing confirmed it wasn't COVID19, but I may have accidentally discovered COVID22. There was cold, there was flu, there was a slapstick faint… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
I suspect more opposition fans read this than Melbournians, so for those who follow successful clubs, please outline the exact point where you started going into games expecting to win. I don't feel like I could ever get there, but there's got to be a point – and it used… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Once they're finished studying the Mad Minute, post-nuclear war scientists will sift through rubble for evidence of the 2021 Grand Final and try to work out why Footscray got so upset about that song. For the benefit of brave, radioactive suited types going through the shattered archives at Blogger HQ,… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
You might not be able to play a side ravaged by the 'cron every week, but for the first time in AFLW history we've made it through the entire home and away season without a single upset loss to the lower classes. This important achievement didn't come without a scare,… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
"Defending premier Melbourne" eh? I still don't believe it. Perversely, it may take until we're no good again – currently estimated at some time after the next passage of Halley's Comet – to fully appreciate what a special time this is. I'm a bit afraid of wasting the rest of our… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Sun Tzu said: "If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by". I say if you watch Melbourne long enough something crazy will happen. In this case, turning a top of the table blockbuster into an unprecedented massacre, claiming both the highest score… Read more
Published: 8 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
The most lightweight pre-season schedule since about 1898 is over, and it's thoughts and prayers to Jake Bowey, who has finally played in a loss. Presumably, he didn't react by throwing his premiership medallion into the Yarra, and we should retain our bundle too. Other than the forward line we… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
People who want to play the AFLW season at the same time as the men, spare a thought for those of us who foolishly committed to doing match reviews of every game. Even this brief crossover between both competitions is cooking me. That's after just three games in seven days,… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
All you work from home people must have been thrilled by the idea of a midweek practice match. Set your Netflix viewing schedule back a couple of hours, move the mouse cursor enough so you stay 'online', and kick back for the first outing of the reigning premier. Alternatively, after… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
You can't always get everything right. On its launch I said the iPad would be a failure, thought Malcolm Turnbull would have a good run as PM, and you can refer to match reviews from rounds 1-21 2021 for highly inaccurate predictions about Melbourne's premiership chances. But as the fly… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
It's a weird and wonderful world if you follow Melbourne AFLW. We beat ordinary sides without ever looking particularly dangerous, can't be beaten on a ground that's worse for Australian rules than the Russians are for international peace, and went within touching distance of holding a side scoreless for the… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In every year since I started watching footy, I'd have bitten your hand off for a 4-1 start. Mainly because, as we discovered between August and last week winning is more fun than losing, but because it's a decent deposit on finals berth. The wins are worth even more in… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com